Just would like to learn why discourse, but not nodebb as a dev? most forums I visit use discourse, few nodebb,

Ruby is a fantastic programming language, and quite similar to Javascript in some ways.

It is not the fastest language, but a pleasure to programme in (as is Javascript imho), and more than fast and frugal enough - note how you can run Discourse on 1GB.

I’m not sure there is a clear answer here.

Why don’t you write a similar plugin for both platforms to help you determine which one you prefer?