# "Add or Remove..." behaviour for PM creators
**URL:** https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541
**Category:** Feature
**Created:** [June 28, 2019, 12:33am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541 "2019-06-28T00:33:20Z")
**Posts on this page:** 18
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@daath](https://meta.discourse.org/u/daath)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 12:33am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/1 "2019-06-28T00:33:20Z")
OK, one of my users has a PM thread with a few users - some of them have been anonymized now, and he’d like to remove them from the PM (he started the thread) - but he can’t remove anyone.
I tested this with a normal user that I forced to become “Member” (trust level 2), let’s call him X. When I send X a message, he can remove himself from the message.
If X sends a message to me, he can’t remove anyone. X added a third user Y to the message and X cannot remove him either, once he’s been invited.
Seems like a bug to me? My admin user can of course remove anyone from the message.
Oh, and a small odd thing. The “Emoji”-button in the editor doesn’t do anything on my site?!
EDIT: Using v2.4.0.beta1 +115
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### Author:  [@JagWaugh](https://meta.discourse.org/u/JagWaugh)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 5:20am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/2 "2019-06-28T05:20:50Z")
Could be this again (or still):
> [@Add/Remove user on private discussion not available when creator](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-remove-user-on-private-discussion-not-available-when-creator/111724/4):
>
> This will be fixed by: Thx for detailed report, and sorry for the trouble.
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### Author:  [@codinghorror](https://meta.discourse.org/u/codinghorror)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 9:36am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/3 "2019-06-28T09:36:49Z")
Can we repro this @justin? Is this specific to anonymized users, or..?
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### Author:  [@daath](https://meta.discourse.org/u/daath)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 10:01am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/4 "2019-06-28T10:01:41Z")
> [@JagWaugh](#):
>
> Could be this again (or still):
It does sound similar. You can invite users, but not remove them.
> [@codinghorror](#):
>
> Is this specific to anonymized users, or…?
No, I reproduced this in my description above - no anonymized users there 🙂
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### Author:  [@JagWaugh](https://meta.discourse.org/u/JagWaugh)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 10:02am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/5 "2019-06-28T10:02:38Z")
I had it with non anonymized users a few months back. Not sure if it’s still the case.
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### Author:  [@dax](https://meta.discourse.org/u/dax)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 12:24pm UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/6 "2019-06-28T12:24:28Z")
This is not specific to anon users.
The creator of the PM (even a TL4) cannot remove neither himself (as creator) nor other users.
The recipient of a PM (even a TL0 or anon) can always remove himself from the PM.
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### Author:  [@codinghorror](https://meta.discourse.org/u/codinghorror)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 11:29pm UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/7 "2019-06-28T23:29:02Z")
> [@dax](#):
>
> The creator of the PM (even a TL4) cannot remove neither himself (as creator) nor other users.
> The recipient of a PM (even a TL0 or anon) can always remove himself from the PM.
This is by design, so I am removing “bug” from this topic.
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### Author:  [@daath](https://meta.discourse.org/u/daath)
#### Post date: [June 28, 2019, 11:46pm UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/8 "2019-06-28T23:46:15Z")
So, if someone in a PM starts misbehaving or for whatever reason, is no longer wanted in the thread, the thread creator’s only recourse is to create a new thread, re-invite everyone except the person in question, and in the process lose all thread history?
And anonymized users are just part of the thread indefinitely?
I don’t quite see the design logic, except in a world where everyone always sees eye to eye.
What if you made a mistake and invited someone you didn’t mean to invite?
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### Author:  [@codinghorror](https://meta.discourse.org/u/codinghorror)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2019, 12:08am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/9 "2019-06-29T00:08:27Z")
> [@daath](#):
>
> So, if someone in a PM starts misbehaving or for whatever reason
Flag it for mod attention.
Also there is no such thing as a “thread” in Discourse.
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### Author:  [@daath](https://meta.discourse.org/u/daath)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2019, 12:34am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/10 "2019-06-29T00:34:40Z")
Seems silly to rely on moderators when people, especially in private messages, are capable of self moderation. I guess I need more moderators 😛
Discourse has threads - they’re called topics - specifically linear threads displaying all messages in chronological order regardless of reply relationships. Sometimes I wish it had nested threads, since derailing of topics can completely ruin a discussion.
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### Author:  [@Stephen](https://meta.discourse.org/u/Stephen)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2019, 12:40am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/11 "2019-06-29T00:40:05Z")
Messages aren’t the wild west, unacceptable behavior anywhere should be reported.
There’s no reason that users should ever have the power to exclude others, that decision is above their pay grade.
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### Author:  [@daath](https://meta.discourse.org/u/daath)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2019, 12:57am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/12 "2019-06-29T00:57:03Z")
I completely disagree. What is unacceptable to a user in a private message might not be unacceptable to the moderator reviewing the flag. Then the person will still be part of the private message, even though the persons input is no longer wanted.
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### Author:  [@Stephen](https://meta.discourse.org/u/Stephen)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2019, 4:18am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/13 "2019-06-29T04:18:16Z")
I think your perception here that they’re _private_ messages might be part of the problem. A lot of care is taken to ensure that there’s no illusion of privacy within messages, the term doesn’t feature anywhere in the interface. Messages are just topics with a specific audience. Any infractions with messages are to be dealt with in the same way as any other topic on the platform, with a flag.
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### Author:  [@codinghorror](https://meta.discourse.org/u/codinghorror)
#### Post date: [June 29, 2019, 5:02am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/14 "2019-06-29T05:02:20Z")
Well let’s see …
- sending a PM requires trust level 1
- sending a group PM requires trust level 2
- the right for someone to voluntarily opt remove _themselves_ from a PM they don’t want to be on, at any time → incontrovertible
- at trust level 1 you can mute users at will, which prevents them from sending you PMs or adding you to PMs
Also, I’m unclear why you would add someone to a PM, and _then_ urgently need to remove them? And if you did.. why not flag 🏴 like any other time things get urgent?
In other forum software there is an option to indicate when you start a PM if it is an “open” PM that anyone can be added to, or if the list of people in the PM is static after creation and cannot be changed.
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### Author:  [@papyrophilia](https://meta.discourse.org/u/papyrophilia)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2020, 9:37pm UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/15 "2020-05-02T21:37:49Z")
> [@daath](#):
>
> What if you made a mistake and invited someone you didn’t mean to invite?
I would appreciate a user solution to this that doesn’t involve a mod flag, particularly when two users have similar profile names but no distinctive avatars and might commonly be confused for the other when added to PMs…and not necessarily willing or able to then remove themselves. 😬🤦♀️
**Example:** User _word1\_word2_ v User _Word1word2_
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### Author:  [@riking](https://meta.discourse.org/u/riking)
#### Post date: [May 3, 2020, 1:06am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/16 "2020-05-03T01:06:33Z")
The OP of the PM can remove people.
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### Author:  [@papyrophilia](https://meta.discourse.org/u/papyrophilia)
#### Post date: [May 3, 2020, 1:26am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/17 "2020-05-03T01:26:55Z")
@riking, is that customizable, to your knowledge? 🤔
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### Author:  [@riking](https://meta.discourse.org/u/riking)
#### Post date: [May 3, 2020, 6:30am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/add-or-remove-behaviour-for-pm-creators/121541/18 "2020-05-03T06:30:29Z")
> [@papyrophilia](#):
>
> two users […] might commonly be confused for the other when added to PMs…and not necessarily willing or able to then remove themselves.
If this has happened multiple times? That sounds like a general issue that should be solved by your site staff, forcing one user or the other to change their username and/or get an avatar (preferably, both users get an avatar).