האם עליי צורך ב-VPS ל-Discourse והאם עלי לאחסן את האתר הראשי באותו השרת?

Is doesn’t really. Using the multisite option the formula is not amount-of-Discourse-instances times resources needed.

I run 5 Discourse instances on a single 1Gb Digital Ocean VPS just fine. Of course those are small fora, the needed resources get higher when you get (a lot) more users.