That sounds super tough and I’m sorry to hear it. I don’t have any directly comparable experience but if it were me I’d have a frank discussion with the owners of Forum X about the concerns (show them the screen caps) in the hope that they are called out.
I’d also have a discussion with the owners of Forum Y (assuming that Bob and Dave are mods rather than the owners).
I have moderated many forums and I would be banning these guys immediately. That kind of culture is toxic.