# Opinion: Kids, Would You Please Start Fighting?

**URL:** https://meta.discourse.org/t/opinion-kids-would-you-please-start-fighting/73450
**Category:** Community Building
**Created:** [5 בנובמבר,‏ 2017,‏ 11:51am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/opinion-kids-would-you-please-start-fighting/73450 "2017-11-05T11:51:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Showing post:** 1

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### Author: ![mcwumbly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/meta/user_avatar/meta.discourse.org/mcwumbly/32/103861_2.png) [@mcwumbly](https://meta.discourse.org/u/mcwumbly)
#### Post date: [5 בנובמבר,‏ 2017,‏ 11:51am UTC](https://meta.discourse.org/t/opinion-kids-would-you-please-start-fighting/73450/1 "2017-11-05T11:51:02Z")

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I thought this article was interesting and related to the notion of “Civilized Discourse”

[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/04/opinion/sunday/kids-would-you-please-start-fighting.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/04/opinion/sunday/kids-would-you-please-start-fighting.html)

> What if we taught kids that silence is bad manners. It disrespects the other person’s ability to have a civil argument — and it disrespects the value of your own viewpoint and your own voice. It’s a sign of respect to care enough about someone’s opinion that you’re willing to challenge it.  
> …  
> Instead of trying to prevent arguments, we should be modeling courteous conflict and teaching kids how to have healthy disagreements. We can start with four rules:
> 
> - Frame it as a [debate](http://pubsonline.informs.org/doi/pdf/10.1287/orsc.2015.1025), rather than a conflict.
> - Argue as if you’re right but [listen as if you’re wrong](https://hbr.org/2010/08/its-up-to-you-to-start-a-good).
> - Make the [most respectful interpretation](http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/16/business/16corner.html) of the other person’s [perspective](https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/09/24/opinion/dying-art-of-disagreement.html).
> - Acknowledge where you agree with your critics and what you’ve [learned from them](https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/03/28/daniel-dennett-rapoport-rules-criticism/).

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