I know you are being a bit sarcastic here and that is OK, it was indeed a short answer 
but I actually believe those three actions are the most important and essential ones to test, beyond “does the site actually load in a brower”.
I know you are being a bit sarcastic here and that is OK, it was indeed a short answer but I actually believe those three actions are the most important and essential ones to test, beyond “does the site actually load in a brower”.