Excellent post, Dan!
Two things which you don’t touch on, and which may not be on point for this thread, but which do come up
- for a new, small, forum, there’s a tension between wanting the best behaviour and discussion on the one hand, and wanting the forum to thrive on the other. It’s difficult to ban or suspend users, or have them quit, or threaten to quit, when it feels like every user is precious.
- for an inexperienced moderator, there’s a danger of over-moderating, especially when tired or challenged. Dealing with mis-moderation is important here. It’s common for members to feel over-moderated, too, which may or may not be evidence of over-moderation.
In both cases, and I think in all cases, what’s really helped me is having a small mod team of completely trusted, stable, cool-headed people who share the same values and goals. In my case it’s me and two others - not a big team. It can be a challenge to find these people, of course.