I like DO and there is nothing wrong with recommending them, but whether they are “the best” depends on what your criteria are. Their CPUs are not the fastest for discourse and their prices are not the lowest.
I think that is good advice (and you don’t have to be “scared”, just not wanting to deal with stuff is good enough a reason). But when it comes to discourse hosting, are there really so many providers? (I know of three. The third one is https://nodechef.com/discourse-hosting)
So let us call that the mid-way option, somewhere between fully hosted and your own server, probably a good bit more towards the own server side. What exactly are the benefits of this option? I’m wondering because, as you say,
What are all those commsnds that you need to perform and that those services/products are going to take off your shoulder?