Can I configure what options are display on posts?

[Mittineague]

@nedbat

Solution is a special case dealt with elsewhere?

Yes

How do I make "accept answer" the first item in the post menu

Discourse solved always ensures “accept answer” it the first icon in the post menu IF you are the OP. If you are staff it is hidden behind the ... This is not configurable and there are no plans to make it so