Sure. I be game for that. I like to learn and listen. Despite how I may come across. 
Ahh. I think there be a differentiating definition here, unspoken between us.
Let me attempt to explain mine.
It sounds like your experience with Discourse’s likes has failed, devastating kind of fail. Say, if you were to quantify this as a percentage on average “work rate” that satisfies you, with 0% working not at all, at all and 100% would mean you would not have entered this topic with your concerns about Discourse’s likes to begin with. Where does it fall for you right now? Based on your observations? What Discourse-based communities have you seen, that as a sum, would equal this average percentage I ask to know from your POV. Does not have to be accurate. This is all based on “feels”.
Form what I have seen, my brutally honest percentage, based on all Discourse-based communities I have taken at least more than ten minutes to study, would be 80-85%. Up to 90% if the community is very cordial, and the user-base vetted in some fashion. Maybe 70% if the community in question has a reputation for a lot of “individuals” and not so much “team players” (Geek/Gamer/Fandom culture comes to mind for this as example).
I think the likes are great. That 20 or so percent, I can work with. That is Human Nature no one can truly control.