I don’t think the way you update matters. Maybe a reload happens automatically while you are using your forum after you performed the update, so the warning is not shown?
I have always done the rebuild. I recently setup 2 web-only nodes for HA/fault tolerance but unsure if that’s relevant since I never had the notice to begin with.
Also no, I usually navigate around a bit to see if it’s responsive and working properly before I reload.
For the “you (the user) need to refresh your browser” banner to appear you’d need a browser tab that has been open before you perform the update and that you don’t touch for more than a day after the update. I guess you usually don’t do that which is why you don’t see this banner.