I'm already exhausted, I've installed Discourse on several VPSs and none of them work for me

My hunch here is that letsencrypt issuance failed for some reason.

You might be being rejected.

Yeah, check app.yml and your connectivity to LetsEncrypt:

docker exec app bash -lc '
curl -4 -v \
  --connect-timeout 10 \
  --max-time 20 \
  https://acme-v02.api.letsencrypt.org/directory \
  -o /dev/null
'

from /var/discourse