I don’t think you should take all the blame. 
One of the things that came up when we were discussing whether ‘lurkers’ should be included as a term or if we should try and retire it altogether was that it’s such a recognisable term, and leaving it out may make this guide (and the accompanying blog) less discoverable, and therefore less useful.
Personally though, I think if we can move away from the term and reframe the dynamic I’d be much happier.