I feel you! I am in a similar situation, probably about 2 weeks behind you in my Discourse journey. I have a similar background with online systems (except I’m a software developer).
Your post scares me a little because I’m about to start looking in earnest at Discourse and I’m struggling to find the time. Looks like I will not be able to do it piecemeal, like I hoped.
Anyway, I just thought I’d just say I’m with you and will help where I can!