We have a small, private forum which consists of members of another forum that was retired this past summer. Many wanted to remain in contact with one another so we formed our own forum. With everyone being members of the other Discourse forum, we all know the value of staying on topic. We do allow some leeway because of the closeness of the group, but everyone still tries to stick to what the topic is about. At most, there may be 3 off-topic posts but it quickly goes back to the topic. A few posts may be a mix of on- and off-topic remarks, but not many. I think that in the past 4 months we’ve only had to move 4 posts (and a few replies strictly pertaining to them) to an existing topic or to a new topic. Not too bad. Aside from a short “cat fight” between two members at the beginning, things quickly worked themselves out and the forum is running smoothly.
As for the lounge, we use that for some discussions that newer members and those that don’t pop in too often (therefore have lower TLs), but the majority of off the wall conversations are usually posted in a topic we’ve named “Random Thoughts”. This seems to work out well as even though there may be a couple of different subjects discussed at once, the use of quotes helps immensely.
I believe that each of our members realizes that everything they post not just affects the forum itself, but strengthens the bond between all of us.
In 4 months time, only 2 posts were edited by a mod. All others edited by the posters themselves. Even when someone posts or makes a reply, after rereading it, I’ve seen them delete the post/reply themselves. They must have thought twice about how it would affect others and took care of the matter themselves. As administrator, I could very well look to see what had been posted, but I feel if they deleted it, that’s their personal business and I never look at deleted posts. I respect them for that. It’s the same way with PMs. While I do see the count on PMs in the Admin Dashboard, I have not once looked at anyone’s PMs. They know this and appreciate it. We all trust one another which makes for a great forum. We must be a lucky group. 
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