The only german hosting that I know is Hetzner:
From Hetzner Terms and Conditions page:
5. Privacy
5.1 Our data protection practise conforms to the Federal Data Protection Act (BDSG) as well as the German Teleservices Act (TMG).
5.2 Personal data of customers will only be collected and used, if they are required for the creation, content arrangement or modification of the contractual relationship. The client is obligated to update these data in its online administrations interface.
5.3 The client’s Email address will only be used for information on orders, for invoices and – provided that the client does not object – for customer care as well as for our newsletter, if the client so wishes.
5.4 We do not give any personal client information to third parties, with the exception of our service partners as far as they are required to determine the remuneration and settlement with the customer.
5.5 The client has the right to information and a right to amend, to suspend or to delete his saved information. If deletion conflicts with a legal or contractual duty to save information, or other legal grounds, the information will be made inaccessible.
BTW all european hostings of UE will have to adopt the DPA soon or later.
SSL is not a real problem because you can do it yourself:
If you have problems you can ask support to @pfaffman (https://www.literatecomputing.com/) that can do all this things for you for a very low cost.
I know that Discorse itself have a plan to buy servers even here in Europe for their customers, but I do not know if they are already operational in this regard. (ping @codinghorror)