Yep, you need to disable the enable local logins
site setting
You should follow the Facebook, Google and Apple instructions
Yes, you can just turn enable local logins
back on
If you want authentication to happen on your own site, you need to choose a protocol to use. The most common is OAuth2 or OpenID Connect. You could also use Setup DiscourseConnect - Official Single-Sign-On for Discourse (sso). This will all require significant development work on your app to get things working.