I think we will tweak the badge copy a little based on this feedback:
Certified
Completed our new user tutorialThis badge is granted upon successful completion of the interactive new user tutorial. You’ve taken the initiative to learn the basic tools of discussion, and now you’re certified!
and
Licensed
Completed our advanced user tutorialThis badge is granted upon successful completion of the interactive advanced user tutorial. You’ve mastered the advanced tools of discussion — and now you’re fully licensed!
We’re also adding a @discobot fortune mode that tells your fortune. Bear in mind that quote, dice and fortune are really just parlor tricks to give the bot some personality. They’re the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. 
99% of the purpose of discobot is to greet new arrivals with the essentials, and offer to play with them so they can optionally learn a few key Discourse skills, while using Discourse, e.g. the tutorial that is the first “level” of the game.