In case you missed it, we did just about everything I listed a few posts up 
which I will check off there. A documentation topic is in the works that will explain things, and then we will make this the only about page for everyone.
We did say we would not do this but did it anyway. There is an admin setting now about page hidden groups which you can use to exclude people. This should help folks like @pfaffman who want to exclude themselves from the about page on sites they help manage but don’t want to be listed.
We also have an idea to provide another group to show specified groups on the about page, defaulting to admins and moderators, which I think would be pretty neat! But it does potentially introduce some complexity, and in any case is not a priority for this round.