We are in the same boat as @eesty, evaluating a switch away - as unfortunate as it is, for the reasons in the op.
We moved from SMF to Discourse 3 years back. Our biggest impact has been on ad revenue that dropped to 10% of what it was and never rose.
I love discourse absolutely - elegant, smooth, modern, clever. I don’t even have a single technical glitch, it just works and works well. But it is increasingly about sustaining the forum, head over heart. I really hope there is a solution to get the revenues back.