Or use here in an example:
I’m not sure your concern makes a lot of sense.
Legally the full suite of software you are using, add-ins and all is up to each individual site and its owners.
You aren’t necessarily just using a specific version of Discourse. Even if that version number was exposed it might be misleading.
Just because a site uses “Discourse version 3.1” does not in any way preclude the possibility that the site in queston is using significant local customisations which could affect the behaviour of anything.
I think you are missing the significant point here that Discourse is a platform not a single entity and that platform can be downloaded, installed and then customised in significant ways and in ways the core developers didn’t necessarily intend.
You can glean some information from the version number but not enough to pin down all the exact code you are interacting with.
Nor will any of that guarantee the trustworthiness of a specific site and the way it is run.
That is why you should take these questions to the actual site you are using.
Don’t expect the core Discourse community to always deal with specific issues you have with the sites you are using.
Have you approached the sites you are using and given them any feedback?
It smacks a little of “going above their heads” if you only discuss these issues on meta and not with the site owners themselves?
Are you hoping to make changes to the software to that might override what the site owners might want or prefer?
Are you involving them in the discussion?