How to limit the sending frequency of summary mail?

I suspect you will need to write a plugin or upgrade your email service.

Looks like Discourse will do a short term requeue of failed emails:

but I suspect this is not designed to deal with this kind of extreme scenario because their recommended providers do not rate limit so badly.

Free and email do not mix for a variety of reasons.

Migrate to a better paid service if you can is my advice.

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