The goal is not to force everyone to do it; the new user tutorial is something new users should opt into. I think you have a different expectation around this feature than we do, and it is a fundamental disconnect.
Are you absolutely sure the first message spotlight is working on your site, e.g. this? Can you sign up as a new user and verify?
I don’t expect most users to read the instructions, decide to go the extra mile, and bookmark that initial message to trigger to new user narrative, the same way I don’t expect every student in class to sit in the front row and earn an A+ grade in the course.
What would be concerning, and what @tgxworld and I look at, is …
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if there is any particular step that people get hung up on in the narrative.
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if people can’t even open their first message containing the essential information that discobot provides:
Remember, the new user narrative is completely optional and something that new users have the choice of completely ignoring if they want to. Maybe they’ve joined 20 discourses by now, so this tutorial is old hat to them. It is not a requirement and I would expect most users to ignore it. Heck, if they actually read just the 3 bullet points that discobot gives them, that’s a win!